A new year is on the horizon and for most, it is tradition to come up with some resolutions for the future. Little promises we make to ourselves in order to better ourselves and make ourselves happier in life. Usually I don’t partake in making them because I know they’ll either be forgotten or abandoned by the end of January- but this year is a little bit different.
Since the split with Mr. Stark I’ve had time to think, long and hard, about the future. Plans that I made around him were suddenly turned upside down- 2013 was already looking so different to what I had imagined and the clock hadn’t even struck midnight on new year’s eve yet. I realised, in perhaps what was the hardest lesson, that you can’t rely on others to help you get what you want in life because ultimately it always falls down to you and you alone.
And so, as tough a decision as it has been to make, I have decided to take a hiatus from performing Burlesque so I can focus on other things. It may be a few weeks, or a few months but carving a career as a showgirl has never been the only thing I’ve wanted to achieve in life.
In just over 7 months time, I’ll be hitting 25 which for me is quite a big milestone- and there are so many things I want to do before then, and before 2013 is out!
- I finally want to learn how to drive- and to buy a car.
- I want to move out of my parents house- for good this time (hopefully back to London) My parents have been a constant source of love and support and I genuinely can’t complain about living with them but I need my independence again!
- Travel to New York
- Make more time for my friends, especially those that live on the other side of the country!
I realise that this is a decision I may come to regret considering I’ve gathered such interest and support, as a performer, over the past few months but I feel that at the moment I just can’t put enough time and money into performing as I would like.
Currently my job pays me a little over £400 (after tax) a month which is just not enough money to finance all the wonderful and creative ideas I’ve had for new acts- not to mention all the travelling performing entails. I’ve said many a time before that I don’t believe in doing things half heartedly and so until I’ve found myself a better paid job- and started ticking things off of the list- I won’t be performing.
I would like to thank everyone for all of their support, love and help during my Burly journey- it really means a lot and at during times of doubt has helped spurred and encouraged me! :) I’d like to mention Becky Ryan and Anna Chocola-two wonderfully talented women who I’m so proud to say where involved in my journey from voyeur to performer! And to my friends and family- who came to support me at shows, and helped me source costume pieces- I can only say that I could never have done it without you!
And last but not least, I would like to thank Miss Von Vamp. Her advice, mentor-ship, and more importantly, friendship has meant so much to be over the past few months and I am so proud to say that I have worked with (and shared the stage) with such an incredibly beautiful and talented woman.
For the first time, in a very long time, I find myself single a single woman- with the world at her feet. I want to have fun, be reckless and make 2013 the most incredible year of my life.
I hope you can all understand and I just want to let you know that this is not the last time you’ll be hearing from Jessica Stark! :)
Here’s to 2013
p.s I will be taking a break from all my social networking sites- but will return when I have something to tweet/blog about!